Okay, so one of my good friends saved up a stack of her US Weekly magazines for me and I’ve been pursuing them over the last couple of days in my personal Girl Cave. Now, I’m no jet propulsion engineer (huge shout out to the folks at JPL in Pasadena for their success with Mars Curiosity’s landing last week, by the way), but I’m noticing a trend.

The last five or so covers of US magazine were strictly about Hollywood stars and their break-ups.  7/9/2012 “Johnny’s [Depp] Broken Heart” 7/16/2012 “Katie [Holmes] Breaks Free [from Tom Cruise]” 7/23/2012 “How Katie Beat Tom” 7/30/2012 “Katie [Holmes] Takes Control” and of course, the one that really caught my attention 8/6/2012 “Kristen [Stewart] Cheats on Rob [Pattinson]”, and I know there’s a newer edition about the Twilight Fiasco, but I don’t have my hands on that one yet (hurry up, Leslie!).

I’m not one for buying tabloid magazines but I will admit that I enjoy them when I’m sitting at the nail salon or in the dentist waiting room. Sadly, I don’t know most of these people who make the inside stories (who in the hell is Christina Milian and La La Anthony?) and I grow über sad when I read that Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood’s Eric Northman – yum) is dating a twiggy Victoria’s Secret Angel – why can’t hotties go for beautiful plus-sized models?

Sadly, I have to admit I’m caught up in the Kristen and Rob scandal…I even bought Life & Style which mislead me by stating that they had the first interview with Rob since Kristin’s affair. That was pure bullshit. I’m allowed to curse…I’m really angry I fell hook, line, and sinker for their ploy. In my defense, I was flipping through the mag in line at the grocery store, got flustered because another checker opened and asked me to move lanes, hence disturbing my review of the article. Whereby I just HAD to purchase the magazine so I could read his “first interview” without further distractions. Well, there was no new interview, they took quotes from an interview he had a few weeks prior (from Vanity Fair or one of the better magazines).

Why are we so drawn to famous people’s lives? To their ups and downs? To their fairytale weddings and their scandalous affairs? Do we like to see them as truly human with happiness, faults and problems? You betcha! And I don’t mean that to be mean. Honestly, I know we feel for them, we root for them, we may even cry for them. And in KStew’s case, she merely exposed her true self and Rob is better off without that bony-butt-skank (I’m still angry). On the brighter side, I love seeing Pink tooling down a Santa Monica street with her baby, or Rachel McAdams riding her beach cruiser. They are real people, doing real things, having real problems, in real reality-driven spotlights. As a fan, I’m both intrigued and ashamed that I’m drawn to their not-so-personal-lives. Given they are famous, I do agree they should expect added attention, but I also think there should be a line drawn when some need their space.

If I’ve learned nothing else from these magazines, the one thing that I have figured out is that famous single ladies need to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM JOHN MAYER!!  If he bats his big brown eyes at you and offers to sing you a song, turn and SPRINT away! He’s nothing but trouble girls, nothing but trouble.